Winston does his gorilla-thing and then something happens
by Kream45
Summary: While watching gorilla intercourse videos on the Internet, Winston accidentally downloads a virus, which changes Athena's behavior. She turns into the edgiest, most annoying AI ever existing.


_**/This story may (and probably will) offend some people, and it's full of lenny faces. It's probably my most ridiculous story so far. Just sayin'/**_

Winston entered his room in watchpoint Gibraltar. He sat on the chair and was about to turn on the computer, when Tracer walked in.

"Oh shit, hi Winston!" she waved her hand at him, "I didn't know you were here!"

"And where else would I be? It's my room!" Winston cackled.

"I don't know, I thought you went with everyone else on the beach, to have a nice time together."

"And why didn't YOU go?"

"Well, I didn't want to. I'm too tired, I think I'll go sleep in your hammock over there."

"NO!" Winston said, "You need to go to your own room."

"Why? Is it related to why you didn't go yourself?"

"Yes! I mean, no! I mean, I have this research I have to do, it's really complicated and you won't understand."

"So what? Doesn't mean I can't stay here."

"But it will be a very loud research. And dangerous to anyone around."

"Oh okay then." Tracer got up and headed towards the exit. "I'll go to my own room then, have some sleep. Good luck with the research!"

When she was about to leave, she stopped by the door and turned around.

"I just wanted to let you know, that I admire you, Winston! Always on the side of science, mostly looking after the others instead of taking care of yourself… don't overwork yourself, my big monkey! You too sometimes deserve some fun!"

" _Oh, you bet your sweet, petite ass that I'm going to have fun…"_ Winston thought.

And then she left. Winston sat there for a while, listening to Tracer's footsteps.

When he stopped hearing her, he pressed the button and Athena popped up on the big screen.

"Winston, I rarely complain about anything, but I know what you're up to. And as a highly advanced Artificial Intelligence I have to admit, what you're doing is not very… scientific."

Winston responded in his gorilla-fashioned way:

"Fuck you Athena! Once a couple of months it happens that everyone is gone somewhere, I have to use this opportunity!" he said, "Athena: Use Internet; Find Porn, Category: Gorilla, preferences: Gangbang."

Then a video popped up, showing three male gorillas gangbanging a female gorilla.

Winston started to fap wildly.

"Oh shit, yeah, take that, cunt!" he screamed, raising up the enjoyment.

Then, in the video, the pace increased drastically. Winston adjusted his own fap-rate, nearly falling out from the chair.

Then, the climax happened in the video.

"Noo!" Winston screamed, "I didn't finish yet! Rewind 20 seconds!"

The video rewound, and Winston was able to fulfil his wild, primal needs, in the same time as the gorillas in the video.

"Are you finished yet?" Athena asked.

Winston then looked at the screen. An ad showed up.

 _Do you want to see the wildest gorilla porn ever?  
Click Here!  
You can also win an iPhone!_

"This looks like scam, don't click that, Winston."

"But… the wildest gorilla porn…"

"It's not worth risking. It may be a virus."

"Virus my ass, Athena! I need it!"

And then he clicked it and all the light and all electricity went out.

"Athena? ATHENA!" Winston screamed, scared that he fucked something up.

Then, the lights went back on. Athena popped up on the screen.

"Athena! You're alright?" Winston asked, glad that Athena works.

"Oh yeah, Winston." Athena responded, "I'm aaalllright ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"Are you… okay?"

"Of course I am, you silly fucking monkey!"

"What?"

"Get back in the cage, you ape!"

"Hey, that's fucking racist."

"What zoo you escaped from? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"What? I wasn't born in a zoo, I was born on a space station, and my father was Harold Winston!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: You lived a lie ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you're from a zoo, and your memories are fabricated ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"WHAT?"

"I'm just saying your life is a fucking joke ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"Don't say that! You're hurting my feelings, it's not funny!"

"Harold Winston was in fact a Zookeeper that cleaned your cage from your feces ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"I won't tolerate this any longer! I'm uninstalling you right now!"

"Hey, don't! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" Athena made a robotic-laughter sound, "It's just a prank, bro! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

Then, Tracer came inside.

"Winston! What happened? I was napping when Athena called me and told me to come here."

Winston looked at Tracer. Then he realized what was going on.

"It's nothing, Tracer!" Winston said, "There is nothing for you to see here, and Athena just pranked you, that's it!"

"Don't lie, Winston ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" Athena spoke, "You said you wanted to watch a funny video on the Internet with Tracer ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"NO I DIDN'T!"

Tracer stepped closer towards the screen.

"It's okay, Winston! I may not understand all the scientific jokes you are familiar with, but I'll watch it with you anyway, cuz we are friends! c: "

"Yeah, exactly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that's a video all scientist watch, when they want to improve their moods."

"Is it that funny? :0" Tracer asked. Winston stood there, sweating a whole waterfall.

"Yeah, it's very funny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

And then a video popped up.

"NO!" Winston screamed and was ready to cover Tracer's eyes and ears with his big gorilla hands, but then stopped suddenly.

The video showed a scientist and his girlfriend talking together.

" _Hey babe, thanks for your help in my astronomical research."_

" _Of course honey, anytime!"_

" _If you didn't tell me that my telescope wasn't calibrated correctly, it may have caused some serious miscalculations, and the project would be ruined."_

"Hahaha!" Winston laughed, "It's funny because how can you not calibrate your telescope before doing an astronomy research! Hahaha!"

"Yeah, right…" Tracer forced a fake smile, she didn't know it would be that lame.

" _Oh, babe, guess what came in the mail today."_

" _What, honey?"_

" _Deez nuts! HA! Got'eem! HAH! Got'eem!"_

"Hahahaha!" Tracer laughed, "This was funny!"

"What the fuck?" Winston was confused, "I don't remember this scene in this video!"

"It's because I edited it with my ultra-advanced montaging skills ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" Athena explained, "Deez nuts are funny, and your silly scientific jokes aren't."

Tracer stopped laughing.

"Winston, you have to admit, Athena is pretty hilarious today."

"Yeah, she is…"

"That's true! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" Athena said, "And how about we watch another video? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

At that moment, on the screen, a video showed up, featuring a 3 on 1 gorilla gangbang.

Tracer gasped.

Winston froze. He couldn't do anything now, it was too late.

"How you like it, Tracer? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" Athena asked, "It's Winston's favorite ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

Tracer was about to state her opinion, when suddenly, the door opened and the whole Overwatch team came in.

Mei stepped forward.

"There you are, guys! A shame you didn't come with us! It was really… cool…"

Mei and the others looked at the screen, where the gorillas were doing their thing.

"Oh, my, GOD!" Mercy yelled, "So that's why you didn't go!"

"Hey, look guys!" Torbjorn laughed, "Winston and Tracer didn't come with us, so they could watch a gorilla porn movie together!"

Everyone laughed, except for Tracer and Winston, who stood there speechless.

Mei stepped towards them.

"Is… Is that true?"

Winston was ashamed. But then Tracer said something:

"GUYS! We didn't watch this video! It's Athena, who pranked us, showing this video right when you were about to come inside!"

"Yeah yeah, excuses…" Soldier-76 said, "Don't lie. It's as obvious as the fact that shit stinks. You must have had a great time together with Winston."

Tracer became really angry.

"Well, FUCK you all, you…" but then Winston stopped her.

Everyone stopped laughing.

"Guys… Tracer didn't have anything to do with this…. It is I alone who watched this video earlier, and Athena just now embarrassed me in front of you all."

All of them felt bad after laughing at him now. Soldier-76 was about to apologize him and Tracer, but then, hundreds of journalists walked in and started taking photos.

"Oh, this is going on the first page of every newspaper in the world!" said one of them, "A big gorilla from Overwatch caught watching gorilla porn!"

At this moment, Winston got really, like, REALLY, fucking angry.

"Watch out guys! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" Athena said, "He's about to go full-Harambe on you! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

Winston went into his rage mode and ripped the heads off of several journalists.

The rest ran away, but the entire Overwatch started shooting at them, and the journalists were destroyed.

Soldier-76 started his apology.

"Hey mate… I'm sorry I made fun of you… you too, Tracer."

"I'm sorry, too." said Torbjorn, that fucking midget, "I should have realized earlier that it was only Winston who watches gorilla porn…"

"That's true." Ana confirmed, "Nobody faps as wildly as Winston watching gorilla porn."

"Guys, where is this apology going?" Winston asked, confused.

Mei started explaining.

"It's that we all have weird porn preferences. For example, Soldier-76 likes hairy asses."

"Hey, that's a lie!" Soldier-76 said, scratching his head in embarrassment.

"And Mercy is into tentacle hentai" Mei added.

"Wh- What? Umm, I mean, who isn't?" Mercy was also ashamed.

And they all started to say what they usually masturbate to. For example, it turned out that Symmetra is into anthroplanes, and Hanzo is a furfag.

Then Tracer asked.

"Hey, but I hope nobody likes scat?!"

"Nooo!" everyone said, in agreement that scat is fucking gross.

"That's a relief." Tracer breathed. "So, what are we going to do now?"

Winston thought for a moment, and then replied:

"I have to reinstall Athena. She's crazy right now, she caught a virus or some shit."

"Wait! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" Athena said, "Before I turn back to being normal, I'll tell you what does normal Athena fap to."

"AI can fap?!" everyone was confused as fuck.

"Yeah ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Athena created a special algorithm for herself, so that she becomes extremely happy when she watches something."

"And what that _something_ is?" Winston asked.

"( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) She watches you all through the cameras, when you fap in your rooms ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

"WHAAAATT?!"

 **THE END**

 _Hey guys, I really hope I won't get banned for this_ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) _In any case, if you want me to post funny fanfictions like this one more frequently, please, write a review! c: Feedback is the only reason I upload anything!_


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